Friday, March 19, 2010

Maine, The Way Life Should Be?

Pete and I went up to Yarmouth not only to spend the night and have dinner with Grancheeky and Bear, but to say goodbye to 44 Blueberry Cove. Blueberry Cove has been my grandparents home for over 20 years. I have a vague memory of packing up their old house in Milton, running around empty rooms and jumping in boxes. But back then the air was filled with excitement. And as my grandmother says "Back then it was an adventure, I had never moved before and I couldn't wait to see what the next chapter would bring." But now they are moving to an Assisted Living complex. Granted now that they will be in Massachusetts they are closer to the majority of the family but still there is still such a sad feeling to leave Maine behind. Their home was perfect. Just perfect in every way. Skylights all over, water view, amazing neighbors, THREE fireplaces, and the smell and feeling of home. I know alot of this sense of loss is having to accept the fact that my grandparents are mortal and not made up of some sort of superhero DNA. They are getting older, and even though they are totally "with it" in every way, they are in their 80's and its better to be safe than sorry when it comes to these arrangements. God forbid something happened to one of them, there is no way they would even be considered for assisted living. I know it kills them to leave Maine and their friends behind, not to mention this will be the first time in my grandfather's life that he has lived without a fireplace! But we are trying to focus on the good!! They have old friends and lots of family here in Massachusetts. And the grandchildren are growing up, getting married and having families of their own. Being closer lets them be a part of it all without the hassle of driving back and forth! And in time, the smell and feeling of home will return because it comes from them. However the timing stinks.Pete and I just started talking about the possibility of moving to Portland! Ah well, driving isn't such a big deal to us! While we were visiting we spent our day strolling up and down the waterfront of Portland. For the second time, the winter weather stepped aside and gave us a perfect sunny, warm day, as if to say "Move here, we promise it will be like this every day!" We shopped around and bought things we could have gotten here in Boston, but because they came from Maine they seemed that much more fun. We people watched the perfect families of four and the hundreds of dog owners. The joggers and the hip "I'll drink coffee as many times a day as i damn well please" artists . I don't jog or drink coffee, But I wanted to be them. We had our sites set on Seattle, and though we LOVED it out there, its hard to think of being soooo far away from our families and our heart and soul which is Squirrel Island. Portland was so similar to Seattle, it had the same great feel. AND we would be that much closer to Squirrel. We have always loved Maine! But will living there year round kill its magic? Will we actually be able to be "Mainers" for more than a summer. Boats, lobsters, blueberries... Do we love them so much because we cant have them all year round? My fear is that the State behind the curtain, if you will, will disappoint. Sitting here in Boston the great and powerfully beautiful Maine, is something we look forward to all year. If we lived there and peeked behind the curtain, would that longing be gone? Would we be left with hugh property taxes and hillbilly neighbors? Is Maine the way life should be, or is it the way we THINK life should be? But having Grancheeky and Bear closer is like having a little chunk of Maine right here with us. And I will still honk at Blueberry Cove on our way to Squirrel, as we do every time. And I guess we need to take this next year here in Boston and weigh our options as to where we want to start the next chapter of our lives. And maybe get a dog...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A Blog About That Which Is Blogging

So here goes, A blog. My whole life I have loved to write. I have journals going back to middle school, binders filled with stories and ideas and out there somewhere in the world are a few chosen people that have received a 25 page "Katie Graycar Letter". Lucky you. I have wanted to blog for years now. I have been craving for an outlet to pour all my random thoughts into. But the act of actually starting a blog was daunting. I can't spell, I don't understand computers, I have zero sense of grammar and punctuation but I have a passion. And who the hell cares about my random thoughts, rants and dreams? But this is a test for me, to actually "do something." I have a ridiculously hard time applying myself and forget about doing anything on a regular basis. Vitamins, nope, Birth control, uh uh, teeth whitener, tried it for two days and forgot about the box. So this will be a test to see if I can continue with something. I recently got back from India and have been dying to get the stories down, I took a writing class and had a blast writing short stories and every day inevitably something rocks my world. So this is where it shall come to live. Read if you like, comment if you desire. Like I said, Clean up in aisle me; All of the mess, embarrassment, joy, wonder, confusion and beautiful utter chaos that is my life...