Ho Ho Holy Crap There's Alot Of Christmas Movies!
Well we're off to a pretty good start! We wanted this experience to be a mixture of our Christmas favorites, lifetime cheese, and oldies but goodies. So We started with some cheese. Well no, not exactly, this was so awful it was beyond cheese. The Town Christmas Forgot. Otherwise known as "The Movie Katie Will TRY to Forget." A thrilling story, a rich family's car breaks down in the middle of Nowhere. Literally, the town is called Nowhere. As the fake styrofoam snow beats at their windshield they wait with only their complete lack of acting ability to keep them warm. Then some large black man comes out of the darkness and brings them into town. The family matriarch miss Lauren Holly is the only noticeable actor in the movie, most of them don't even have pictures on IMDB, probably because they never worked again after this movie. Now I love the Corny made for TV movies but this is just terrible, I expected better from Canada. Anyway the car is so fancy that the parts won't be in for a few days so they are stuck in this town that doesn't know what a latte is. And the town is so poor and in such hard times, they can't afford to put on their Christmas pageant. huh. But a hard headed waitress with legs the width of tree trunks refuses to be stopped, the show must go on! Eventually the family gets roped into helping and they put on the worst Christmas Pageant in history. And I think the Dad builds a ski resort there and saves the day. woop woop. so yeah... I guess if that's how we started our little marathon there is no way but up!
On to better things! The Santa Clause starring Tim Allen (grunt grunt grunt). When I was younger I had a TV/VCR combo in my room and owned three movies, and this was one of them. So every third night I fell asleep to the sounds of the movie and it brought me right back! Its surprisingly cute, I've always liked Tim Allen and the little bowl-cutted boy who plays his sun is adorable. Basically Tim's character Scott Calvin (S.C. Get it?) scares Santa off the roof and he dies, Santa that is. A bit morbid for Christmas. There is a small note in his pocket that says put on the suit and the reindeer will know what to do. So Scott does and poof the reindeer take him and his son to the north pole where he finds out he is the new Santa. Because he didn't read the fine print, once the suit is on you must forever be Santa, until someone kills you essentially. He fights it for a while but then eventually gives in, mends his relationship with his son and ex wife and makes Judge Reinhold cry by giving him a weenie whistle. My favorite thing is that the Cocoa that comes out of the sleigh is as think as pudding - I never forgot that. Well done! I think there may even be a sequel!
Who throws a shoe? Rather who writes a country song and then makes a made for TV movie about a shoe? I blame Bob Carlisle and his damned buttery kisses. He felt the need to write a little song of a young boy and his dying mother for the soul purpose of making people cry. Or if you are part of the dead Mom club, making you convulse to the point of dry heaving. I know it was a book first but it's his fault for adding the catchy little ditty to it. Thanks Bob. Anyway someone thought the world would be remiss if this was not turned into a made for TV movie starring Rob Lowe and the chick from Father of The Bride (who just so happens to married to Brad Paisley, a fellow country singer.) Aaaaaanyhoo, The Christmas Shoes as a movie is OKAY. Not great and not awful enough to be amazing (please see the above post on The Town Christmas Forgot). The mom is dying, the dad is running out of money and this kid really needs to buy these shoes, I mean REALLY. He REALLY needs these red silk Chinese inspired flats for his mother. Thank god for Rob Lowe, the hard working, forgets about his family and wife, doesn't quite get christmas, lawyer. His mom dies too. But he's the one that eventually gives the kid the money. I don't know why the cashier had to be such an ass. I mean really, this little boy is pleading and crying and just wants to buy his dying mother these damn shoes, are you seriously gonna be like "peace out?" I dunno, he gets the shoes and runs them home and I almost let a tear fall, ALMOST. But the sight of these little Asian flats and some sub par acting made it suck right back in. So I'm giving it an "eh." Oh! But the best part is, there is a sequel starring Dougie Howser! I think it's called The Christmas Blessing. The little boy is all grown up and a doctor and his mom is still dead and then he meets Rebecca Gayheart... and then we stopped watching. Maybe next year we'll see those shoes again. But for now I will bid them adieu with butterfly kisses.
Well we're off to a pretty good start! We wanted this experience to be a mixture of our Christmas favorites, lifetime cheese, and oldies but goodies. So We started with some cheese. Well no, not exactly, this was so awful it was beyond cheese. The Town Christmas Forgot. Otherwise known as "The Movie Katie Will TRY to Forget." A thrilling story, a rich family's car breaks down in the middle of Nowhere. Literally, the town is called Nowhere. As the fake styrofoam snow beats at their windshield they wait with only their complete lack of acting ability to keep them warm. Then some large black man comes out of the darkness and brings them into town. The family matriarch miss Lauren Holly is the only noticeable actor in the movie, most of them don't even have pictures on IMDB, probably because they never worked again after this movie. Now I love the Corny made for TV movies but this is just terrible, I expected better from Canada. Anyway the car is so fancy that the parts won't be in for a few days so they are stuck in this town that doesn't know what a latte is. And the town is so poor and in such hard times, they can't afford to put on their Christmas pageant. huh. But a hard headed waitress with legs the width of tree trunks refuses to be stopped, the show must go on! Eventually the family gets roped into helping and they put on the worst Christmas Pageant in history. And I think the Dad builds a ski resort there and saves the day. woop woop. so yeah... I guess if that's how we started our little marathon there is no way but up!
On to better things! The Santa Clause starring Tim Allen (grunt grunt grunt). When I was younger I had a TV/VCR combo in my room and owned three movies, and this was one of them. So every third night I fell asleep to the sounds of the movie and it brought me right back! Its surprisingly cute, I've always liked Tim Allen and the little bowl-cutted boy who plays his sun is adorable. Basically Tim's character Scott Calvin (S.C. Get it?) scares Santa off the roof and he dies, Santa that is. A bit morbid for Christmas. There is a small note in his pocket that says put on the suit and the reindeer will know what to do. So Scott does and poof the reindeer take him and his son to the north pole where he finds out he is the new Santa. Because he didn't read the fine print, once the suit is on you must forever be Santa, until someone kills you essentially. He fights it for a while but then eventually gives in, mends his relationship with his son and ex wife and makes Judge Reinhold cry by giving him a weenie whistle. My favorite thing is that the Cocoa that comes out of the sleigh is as think as pudding - I never forgot that. Well done! I think there may even be a sequel!
Who throws a shoe? Rather who writes a country song and then makes a made for TV movie about a shoe? I blame Bob Carlisle and his damned buttery kisses. He felt the need to write a little song of a young boy and his dying mother for the soul purpose of making people cry. Or if you are part of the dead Mom club, making you convulse to the point of dry heaving. I know it was a book first but it's his fault for adding the catchy little ditty to it. Thanks Bob. Anyway someone thought the world would be remiss if this was not turned into a made for TV movie starring Rob Lowe and the chick from Father of The Bride (who just so happens to married to Brad Paisley, a fellow country singer.) Aaaaaanyhoo, The Christmas Shoes as a movie is OKAY. Not great and not awful enough to be amazing (please see the above post on The Town Christmas Forgot). The mom is dying, the dad is running out of money and this kid really needs to buy these shoes, I mean REALLY. He REALLY needs these red silk Chinese inspired flats for his mother. Thank god for Rob Lowe, the hard working, forgets about his family and wife, doesn't quite get christmas, lawyer. His mom dies too. But he's the one that eventually gives the kid the money. I don't know why the cashier had to be such an ass. I mean really, this little boy is pleading and crying and just wants to buy his dying mother these damn shoes, are you seriously gonna be like "peace out?" I dunno, he gets the shoes and runs them home and I almost let a tear fall, ALMOST. But the sight of these little Asian flats and some sub par acting made it suck right back in. So I'm giving it an "eh." Oh! But the best part is, there is a sequel starring Dougie Howser! I think it's called The Christmas Blessing. The little boy is all grown up and a doctor and his mom is still dead and then he meets Rebecca Gayheart... and then we stopped watching. Maybe next year we'll see those shoes again. But for now I will bid them adieu with butterfly kisses.
Love this, and I love the whole concept of watching Xams movies and shows every night! Really great blog.
ReplyDelete